A few months back, a former client reached out via
email to share the good news that she had landed a consulting job at a major
company and that we should get together to celebrate. I naively wrote back right away to congratulate
her and agree that a celebration was in order offering some options for lunch
or dinner in the coming weeks. That was
met with total radio – or more appropriately – email silence.
Several weeks passed and another email popped up from her apologizing for not checking that email account more often (despite the face it
was the one she wrote to me from in the first place) and asking
again about availability to get together.
Again, I foolishly responded and was again left hanging in
cyberspace.
A couple months later, yet another apologetic email arrived
with even more cause for celebration since her position had now become
permanent. The phrase “fool me once,
shame on you; fool me twice shame on me” immediately came to mind. I didn’t want to get sucked into another
black hole of email correspondence, but another friend suggested implementing
the “three strikes you’re out” method so I once more responded with available
dates.
That was a week ago and here I sit pondering what has
become of our ever-connective world actually creating less and less connectivity. Another former colleague reached out to a
Facebook post of mine saying he too wanted to “re-connect.” I decided rather than involve all our FB
friends in our business, I would reach out off-post by sending an email message
separately and directly to him. And so
another message got sucked into the cyber black hole.
The same friend suggested that maybe he didn’t read his FB messages and
I should try responding to the post, which I reluctantly did and lo and behold,
he wrote back there with his contact information for all the world, or at least
my FB world, to see.
Sometimes, connecting even to a colleague or friend
starts to feel like dating. Should I
email back right away or should I wait?
Should I email or call? Should I
call the office number or the cell? I opted the next day to call
him and he asked if he could call me back.
Then he texted to apologize for being so busy and would get back to me
soon. It’s interesting how now I felt guilty
for intruding when he was the one who originally reached out. In any event, that was a couple of weeks ago
now already and I think the chances of hearing back are slim to none.
During this time, I’ve also been playing email phone
tag (this is when an email turns into a “let’s discuss by phone” situation and
then the struggles of coordinating that ensue.)
I’ve shared my phone number and suggested multiple times over multiple
days when I could be available. Perhaps
it’s a power play by the other person who wants to be the one in charge of
deciding and I’m ok with that, but just make a date and stick to it. Here I sit this time waiting for a phone call
that may or may not ever come, but certainly has not come when it was agreed
upon.
Once again, it feels like dating as I sit checking my
phone to make sure the ringer is on and the volume is turned up. Did I miss the call while I was washing my
hands? Wait was that my ring tone I
heard or real crickets? Maybe I should
try a louder more obnoxious ring tone as if that would actually make the call
come through.
The irony is that in all three cases, I was not the
one initiating the contact. But each
case shares the same condition in common and that is the distracted life that
has become the norm. Like an ancient
relic, I sit here on the precipice of extinction with my expectations from others to behave as I behave myself, with
conscientiousness and follow through, with manners and respect. So perhaps it’s only after being fooled three
or more times that we finally won’t get fooled again – wait is that my phone
ringing?
