Nettoyer

v. – to clean
Poussier
n. – dust
Droguerie
n. – hardware store
Pharmacie
n. – pharmacy

In French, if you’re somewhat extreme in any way, you will be labeled a “maniac,” which has the same connotation in English. I have become this with regards to cleaning although I never considered myself as such before the move.

I’m not like the Howards as in Hughes or Mandel, who have complete germ phobias. In fact, truth be told, as long as I can wipe it off, I would just as soon sit down on a toilet seat than hover over it. It’s the hoverers that I’m convinced make them a mess in the first place.

Here, my obsession is with dust or more accurately, soot. Bathrooms often have windows, which if not sealed properly as is often the case, allow a powder of black soot to settle – everywhere and all the time.

Because our new apartment had been re-painted, albeit not with the highest quality materials as far as I can tell, it’s covered in dust and still smells like paint after several weeks. We have many windows to open in order to air it out, but then there’s that pesky soot problem on top of the fact that it’s bone-chillingly cold.

So I started exploring ways to mask the odors (and there are many of them - ways and odors). There’s a product that’s famous here called Papier D’Armenie. They make candles, but I think the initial concept was a matchbook-sized holder with little tabs of paper that you burn in an ashtray and that serves as incense. I’ve discovered that I hate the smell of it even more of any of the smells I’m trying to mask so I’ve continued to look for other solutions.

This has led me to the droguerie, or hardware store, that’s right next door. I always thought that a droguerie should sell drugs, but that’s called a pharmacie. The droguerie, like most hardware stores I suppose, is a fascinating place filled with every household product imaginable.

I’ve now spent hundreds of euros there (partially because I think there’s a huge mark-up) on products to dust, disinfect and deodorize. I’ve purchased products with sulfuric acid, one to remove stains from standing water in the toilets and one to unblock the shower drain. I’ve almost died from using them, but they’ve been fairly efficient.

I’ve had to let go of my aversion to toilet brushes. The concept of re-using something that cleans your toilet and then allowing it to rest in a holder in the meantime is what finally made me realize why so many apartments here put the toilet in a separate room. The lady at the droguerie thought I was very funny when I asked if they had anything that was disposable to clean the toilets. Of course not, but she did talk me into a very attractive stainless steel brush and holder for 38 euros – just add it to my bill.