Bises or bisous

n. – kisses
Here kissing is the common way of greeting someone, even strangers, unless it’s a particularly formal or businesslike setting. It’s less of a kiss really than a gentle touching of one cheek to another beginning with the right side just like with a handshake and then following with the left. Sometimes people will actually ask permission “on peut se faire la bise?” or “we can make the kiss?” literally translated.

The number of kisses can vary from two, which is fairly standard to three or even four, more often found in the provinces. The younger generation can throw you with only one, leaving you hanging mid air waiting for the other cheek, which is always awkward. But I suppose that’s their way of making their mark.

Occasionally, someone will start with the opposite cheek, which can also be awkward, but if you think quickly you can usually recover. There are some people who are very warm with their greeting, even pressing their lips into your cheek. And then there are others who employ their version of the air kiss, barely grazing the cheek or even carefully avoiding it altogether. I prefer the former, warmer category.

I am also fond of the good old fashioned hug when I really like someone. I have successfully imported the hug to my in-laws. Little by little, I’ve introduced it to others, but taking care to impart it after the kissing part is over to avoid any confusion. There isn’t really a word for hug here, which is interesting. “Calin” means cuddle so I’ve learned not to say “on peut se faire le calin” because that would be strange.

In any case for a culture that respects its formality, I find the kissing greeting refreshing. A handshake can bring you together, but can also leave the impression of keeping you at a distance. A kiss or brushing of the cheek is more intimate, as if to say, I trust you enough to bring you this close. And the hug, well that’s the “cerise sur le gateau” or the cherry (or icing, as we say) on the cake.