Gratuite, pourboire

n. – tip
Gratuite is the same as the English word, gratuity. Coming from the word gratitude, it’s something you leave for service you were pleased with. The word TIPS traditionally stood for To Insure Proper Service. Pourboire, literally translated, means “for drink.”

In the US, even though technically it’s at the patron’s discretion how much they want to leave, a tip is still pretty much expected. The only question is whether you leave between 15% and 20% because leaving anything less than that could indicate that you weren’t happy and in some cases will encourage a waiter to come running after you to see what was wrong. As such, doubling the tax only really works fairly if you’re in a state where that would amount to at least 15% of the bill. I think a lot of waiters have been shortchanged since someone suggested that as an easy calculation.

You’re not supposed to tip on tax or alcohol on a restaurant bill, but try doing the calculation like that and you’ll feel like your skimping. Plus the server is never going to bring back the tip and say, this it too much – it looks like you tipped on top of the tax and alcohol. And of course you’re expected to tip a bartender so why not tip on the alcohol that’s brought with your meal? So I find tipping time consuming and even stressful.

Tipping taxis in New York is no better. You’re always going to end up rounding up and sometimes it feels like you’re giving too much proportionately to what the ride cost. But be careful not to skimp with the drivers because they will yell at you or at the least glare at you if you ask for change that they think should rightfully be theirs to keep.

In France, service is “compris” or included. This counts for restaurants and taxis as well as services such as hair salons, spas, etc. So here it is simple – in theory. You can walk away from a perfectly good, well served lunch or dinner without leaving an extra centime. However, don’t be fooled into thinking that people still won’t accept a little something extra. And this is where it gets complicated.

If you decide the service was exceptional, you can leave one or two euros for a more casual spot – never less than one though and maybe five if you’re somewhere more upscale. In any case, these amounts are generally closer to a 5 or 10% gratuity that’s appreciated just as much, but make me feel like a cheapskate at times. Of course, there's little to no recourse if the meal is bad or the server is rude. He gets his tip either way.

A taxi driver will genuinely thank you if you tell him to keep the change and I’m talking about literally just the change. So if a ride is 15 euros and 60 cents, you give him a 20 euro bill and just ask for 3 euros back, you will get a “merci.” This isn’t to say if you told him to keep the 20, you wouldn’t get an even bigger merci.

It’s the same rule of thumb for hairdressers or masseuses, but if you ask how much is appropriate to leave, they absolutely won’t tell you. Obviously, I never ask the person directly, but will try to find out from someone else in the salon, for example. The first response will be “c’est compris,” it’s included. But this is inevitably followed by “c’est comme vous voulez,” “it’s as you want.” What makes it even more awkward to me is that the smallest bill denomination is five euros. So even a two-euro tip, which can be perfectly appropriate seems cheap since you’re handing over a coin.

I’ve never been good at haggling or bartering. If I want something, I just want someone to tell me how much it costs and I will pay for it. So with tipping, I don’t want someone to tell me it’s up to me – I just want them to tell me how much to leave - for that, I would be grateful.