exp. – making new friends
When moving to a new city, there’s an even bigger opportunity to make new friends since everything including them, is new. In Paris, it’s easy to get to know the local merchants since you frequent their shops on a regular basis. We know the newsstand vendor near our office by name, Jacques. And we often chat about the latest topics that grace the cover of our favourite magazines or share opinions on the latest soccer scores when my husband picks up the sports-paper, L’Equipe.
Near our apartment, we almost always go to the same friendly baker just down the street. There’s one just across the street that’s even closer, but since the ladies who run it aren’t as friendly, “ca n’est pas le peine,” it’s not worth it. The beauty of having so many choices in our neighbourhood is being able to find quality goods and service with a smile.
Not long ago I went to our baker to buy a quiche for the following day. I wanted her to just hold one for me to pick up later since I was on my way out. I think she was confused why I wouldn’t wait and buy it fresh the following day, but I didn’t want to tell her I was too lazy to get up early to collect it. So to avoid any further confusion, I decided to take it back upstairs to the apartment before heading out again. I forgot to ask her if I should keep it in the fridge or not so I ran back again on my back out.
She then realized how close I lived and said she lived on the same street, too, just above the bakery in fact. “On peut prendre un verre,” we should have a drink sometime she said, to which I replied “avec plaisir!” with pleasure! And then not sure if I should set the date there and then or not, I just kept repeating “avec plaisir” and left.
Each time I walked by the bakery after that or even went in, I thought about our date and how to make the next move. We would exchange the usual warm greetings, she asked how the quiche was and told my husband that we were going to meet for drinks at some point. I felt like the ball was in my court since she is after all trapped behind the bakery counter and I’m the one free to come in and go out. So finally one day I went in and asked if she was free the following Monday since that’s her day off and I thought we could meet earlier since the rest of the week she has to wait until after the shop is closed.
We exchanged phone numbers, set the time and I was back on my way, pleased with myself for following through. The Monday came and I got a call from her explaining she had to cancel because something had come up. “Pas de probleme, une autre fois,” no problem, another time, I said, to which she responded “avec plaisir!”
All of this coincided with my husband taking a break from bread. While he has no weight problems, he does sometimes have stomach problems and the doctor wanted him to experiment with eliminating certain food groups to see if that might help. I felt badly because I didn’t want the baker to think I was upset about the cancelled date since I wasn’t coming to see her any more. Each time I walked by the shop to wave at her though she was either busy or in the back.
Finally last night, we stopped in on the way home from work. My husband was treating himself to some pate, which requires bread so there we were in front of our friendly baker. She apologized again for cancelling and again, I said we could do it another time. She said she had wondered why she hadn’t seen us so I felt relieved to give her the explanation. And I couldn’t help observe that making friends, just like dating, can have its awkward moments. But while I’m happy to have my dating days behind me, I’m thoroughly enjoying making new friends here and realize that new friendships are some of the many wonderful gifts a new city has to offer.
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